Valkyrie
by KDlalala
Summary: "Calling you an Amazon is just too standard for you. Plus I didn't think you wanted to cut off a boob." Nonsense with the cartoon Mutant League, non liner and mostly centered around writing prompts or just random scenes in my head. Mostly focused on Thrasher Malone and an OC of mine because a woman like Thrasher needs a BFF at her back. Rated M for probable violence and language.
1. Plans for the Future

**Author's Note:**

 **Alright, some notes on how all this came about.**

 **When I was growing up, I ended up creating my own characters and stories to go along with the show, which means I pretty much was addicted to fanfiction before I even knew what it was. For some reason I remembered the ones for this one clearly. I didn't remember her name but remembered I'd made her Thrasher's best friend and she was a radio DJ (because that's what I wanted to be at the time). Back then, she would have been all "Girl power!" now she's ended up more "Aim for the balls, honey, there's too many dicks on the field as there is."**

 **And thus came Lux Gallow, eternally loyal best friend to Thrasher Malone and more than willing to aim for the balls on her behalf. Former grifter and rising rock star with a mouth like a longshoreman, a mind permanently in the gutter and who's openly bisexual because I find it amusing that had she been an actual character, she would have been absolutely controversial in a cartoon featuring mutants ripping each other to pieces in every episode.**

 **I don't know what it was about catching the few available episodes of Mutant League that latched onto my imagination but when I did the Inktober challenge a few months back I ended up focusing on the Mutant League universe and creating a whole bunch of characters within it, which ended up being a lot of fun and hey, it helped me start writing and drawing again and I desperately needed the inspiration.**

 **It's rated M for content and language because Lux's potty mouth let's face it, they rip each other apart but they don't cuss? Oh, 90's cartoons, I miss you so.**

* * *

Lux wasn't surprised Thrasher watched the Mutant League games but it wasn't until they'd been friends for a while before she noticed a few things she found odd. For one thing, Thrasher seemed to favor the Midway Monsters in general but she watched every single game no matter what team was playing. And she _watched_ them. She might get up to get a snack or a drink from time to time but she never talked much while a game was on and she didn't look away from the TV for studying or anything.

Studying.

That thought was what tipped Lux off.

Thrasher finally admitted it one night when she happened to glance away from the screen and found Lux watching her with her head cocked to the side. Lux looked at the TV thoughtfully and looked back at her. "You're not just watching that for the muscles," she stated.

Thrasher snorted. "Hardly."

"Thinking of joining up when you graduate?" It started out joking but even as she said it, realization hit her.

Thrasher met her gaze squarely and they just stared at each other for a moment. Lux glanced at the screen. "That's a boy's club."

"I know."

"That's, like, the _ultimate_ boy's club, Thrash."

"I want to play, L," she said quietly. "It's all I've ever really wanted to do. I don't have any choice."

Lux nodded slowly. There weren't enough female mutant athletes to make up a professional team, much less a league. "You're going to need every advantage you can get. No wonder you study the games." Lux sat up abruptly. "Wait a minute...how are you even going to get in? They'll shut you down if you even try. Unless...you already have an in?"

Thrasher smirked. "I'll give you a hint: what's my last name?"

"Malone." Lux blinked at her in confusion for a moment before it clicked. She resisted the urge to slap her forehead. "Malone. Holy fuck, you're Malicious Malone's kid. I'm an idiot."

Thrasher laughed. "And Prigg still hasn't managed to acquire the team he was on...now called the Midway Monsters."

"Hell of an in. Prigg...is that the fat guy with the lumps on his head?"

"Yep. He's the Commissioner."

"Ugh."

"That about sums it up."

Lux gazed at her with a mix of wonder and worry that made Thrasher shift a bit, uncomfortable.

"You're either the most amazing woman I've ever come across, Thrasher Malone, or you're even fucking crazier than I am."

"No one is crazier than you are."

"Bitch."

"Psycho." Thrasher smirked and rubbed the back of her neck, turning her golden eyes back toward the screen. "I just...want to play." There was an edge to her voice that lightened Lux's spirits. God help anyone who stood in her way.

Sobering, Lux turned her attention to the game as well, letting her thoughts dwell on the fact that once she graduated, her best friend was going to walk into that very stadium. And Thrasher was too goddamned smart not to know she'd be walking in with everyone inside set against her.

Including her own team, probably.

But if there was anyone who had the sheer strength of will to pull that shit off...

Lux let out an exaggerated sigh and started ticking off on her fingers. "Let's see. I like hockey, baseball...basketball is okay..."

"What are you talking about, L?"

"I'm going over the sports I already like and the ones I gotta learn how to like if I'm going to be going to all of your games."

"You don't have to..."

"Nope, but I'm going to. I hate football but I'll find something to enjoy. Volleyball is okay. Racing...oh, holy shit, Thrash, you're going to rip that stadium apart the first time you race, that's going to be awesome!" Lux actually bounced in her seat a little at the thought.

"I'm looking forward to that more than anything, I'll admit." Something seemed to have eased up in Thrasher, her smile a bit less on edge. She reached out and took her hand. "Thanks, L."

"I always knew you were born to raise hell." Lux's smile was wicked now and she squeezed her hand back. "It's why I always liked you."


	2. After the First Game

**AN: I have drawings for all of these characters in my DeviantArt Gallery, the link is on my profile.**

* * *

Both Lux and her father had advised Thrasher to keep an entirely separate e-mail address for league related messages and keep her personal address as secure as possible.

Now she knew why and in hindsight she should have figured. Her father had kept her out of the limelight as much as he could but she'd still seen enough.

Thrasher sat with a bottle of Oozeweiser in one hand and her chin settled in her free one as she studied her laptop screen with bemusement, scanning the lines and lines of...well fan mail wasn't exactly the right word for some of them. How the hell they'd gotten hold of her address so soon she didn't know. She'd ask Lux to look into that.

Her phone rang and she glanced at the display, a smile curving her lips when she saw the name. Speak of the devil. She picked the phone up and immediately had to hold it away from her ear as Lux's enthused voice blasted through. " _Yes, bitch!_ "

"Hey, Lux."

"Damn it, I _knew_ I should have gotten your autograph before you became famous."

"You want one now?"

"It would have been a lot more valuable if I'd had it before you made your big debut. At least I can still sell the whole 'Oh, I knew her _long_ before she was famous!' shit to the press."

Thrasher took a drink, feeling the tension of the day ease a bit. She was smiling outright now and didn't even realize it. "That's one of the things I love about you, El. You have your priorities straight."

"Your true best friend is one who knows how to make a buck off you."

Thrasher laughed outright at that.

"So," Lux's tone sobered a bit, "you managed not to scare all the dudes off the rink. I'd thought they would turn and flee the second you showed up."

Thrasher snorted. "Maybe some of them wanted to but that was before the testosterone kicked in."

"And now that you haven't caved in and given up after one game, they'll be even more scared."

"I really don't think anyone is scared of me, El. Yet."

"Thrash, my love, there is a certain subset of the male population who, whenever they even see a female athlete, their dicks actually shrink a quarter of an inch. Since I doubt even a Rejuvenation Chamber can fix that little problem and they can't afford to lose what they have, they get all panicky."

Thrasher had to set her beer on the table, the images that conjured up making her bend over, helpless with laughter. Which, of course, had been Lux's goal.

Lux continued casually. "So be nice to them, even your asshole teammates."

There was a sharp edge to Lux's tone that put Thrasher on alert. Oh, she wasn't sure she wanted Lux Gallow moving into this city with a dead set grudge against some of her teammates once she graduated. It was probably too late, however, and Thrasher couldn't really blame her since it was her ranting and letting off steam that probably pissed Lux off just as much as she'd been.

She had to grin at the thought of Razor Kidd trying to deal with Lux. The thought gave her a sort of vengeful pleasure, she admitted it. If there was anyone on this planet who could take _that_ one down a peg or two...

In the interest of keeping peace on her team, she tried to divert Lux a bit. "It's the strangers who've never laid eyes on me that I'm worried about."

Lux was silent for a long moment. When she spoke again, her voice was quiet. "How bad is it, Thrash?"

"Well, I admit I wasn't expecting so many rape threats on my first day," Thrasher tried to make it a joke but even she could hear the slight crack in her voice. The fact that almost all of them wouldn't have the guts to go through with those threats didn't make it any better to read them.

"The internet, making brave anonymous crusaders out of everyone," Lux said in disgust. "I wish you'd take your father up on getting someone to go through those for you, Thrasher."

"No, El. I can handle it." On the other end of the phone, Lux bit back a sigh, recognizing that firm, quiet tone. Even Malicious Malone didn't bother arguing with his daughter when he heard that tone. She'd used the same tone when Lux had tried to persuade her to let her come down and see her first game at the Doom Dome, if only so she had _someone_ besides her father supporting her. Thrasher had refused, telling her if she couldn't face this down on her own, she was crippled right at the gate. Lux had respected it, watching the game on TV from her apartment.

That stubborn pride that went right down to the very core of Thrasher Malone was the only thing that had allowed her to step into that stadium knowing pretty much everyone inside it was going to be set against her, even her own team. That and the fact she really had no where else to go to do what she loved.

"Anyway, they're balanced out by the accusations that I cheated even getting into the League because Malicious Malone is my father," Thrasher said, her voice dry now because she had most definitely been expecting that.

"A- They never would have given you a chance otherwise and B - Fucking bullshit. If you weren't related to Malone they'd just say the only reason you got into the League was because he was fucking you," Lux said with heat.

Thrasher winced. "Delightful thought, thanks, Lux."

"You know it's true."

"Probably, but still." Thrasher stretched and shut down her laptop, that long scroll of messages vanishing for the moment, both from her screen and her mind. "I have to go, El. Can't kick ass without rest, you know."

"By this point, Malone, I think you can pretty much do anything, rest or no rest."

Best friends, Thrasher thought, were the most awesome thing in the world. "I just have to prove it. Night, El, I'll call you tomorrow."

"Goodnight and _j'taime_ , you magnificent bitch."

Lux set her phone down and stared at it for a moment before bringing up her calender. Nothing going on at the end of the week. Good. She thought a week of Thrasher facing things on her own terms was enough to warrant paying a visit at the end of it. And once Lux moved there...well things would probably start getting really interesting.


	3. Good Times at Total Chaos Records

Thrasher Malone grinned, looking into the window that led to the booth just outside Mac's office. You couldn't hear anything through the soundproofing but you really didn't need to. Mac Tiernan on his drums was a sight to behold, sound or no sound. Yke had once told her before Mac had been forced to flee his home town and had been hiding out with him, he'd essentially relearned how to use his entire body by going out and whaling on anything in the junkyard near the house. He'd come far beyond that now. She'd seen him actually do a different rhythm with each hand before- something that still fascinated scientists dedicated to mutants because it should have been physically impossible -but at the moment they worked in perfect sync with each other.

One of the kids who had been running around Amen while he played piano came up to her and tugged on her arm hopefully. Thrasher obligingly lifted her up so she could see Mac through the window too.

Lux passed them with a grin and crept up to the office door, sticking the overhead mic just inside the doorway. The store was suddenly filled with a deep, complicated rhythm quite unlike any other. Mac had a gift for hitting something primal in you, it seemed to go right through your body sometimes, the way Lux's voice did.

Thrasher didn't recognize the song but Lux, Sandro, and Amen clearly did because all three of them started singing along, which got cheers from the crowd.

At a brief pause, Mac reached up to still one of the cymbals and Thrasher saw the moment of confusion cross his face as he caught the singing. He looked around and blinked when he caught sight of them through the window. The girl in Thrasher's arms giggled and waved and Thrasher just smiled. She saw Mac chuckle and shake his head and, good performer that he was, move to finish the song, ending it on a final clash of cymbals and bass. He stepped out of the office with the mic in hand and gave it to Lux with a stern look that didn't reach his hazel eyes. "Get back to work."


	4. Badass Mutant Chicks

Excerpt from the Arts and Leisure section of the _Mutant City Times_ :

 _Canal Square has it's first official night club. Never thought you'd hear that, did you? Entrepreneur and fashion designer Marcel Havel has opened a small place right off the square and while we can't exactly say it's the hottest night spot in Mutant City it's already making its mark on the swiftly growing 'bohemian' section of the city, joining the Canal Market and Total Chaos Records as a draw for tourists seeking a 'new experience'..._

Thrasher loved Purgatory. She rarely went to any other club when she went out and not just because Lux performed there almost exclusively. She didn't care that it wasn't popular. In fact she considered that a bonus, since she didn't care about being seen or how exclusive a place was.

It stood just off Canal Square a few blocks away from Total Chaos Records. Marcel, the owner, could probably have afforded to build it in a more upscale part of the city but he'd explained once that he'd wanted to make it into a place that welcomed humans and mutants of every type. If you wanted that kind of environment, you needed the run down charm of Canal Square, the part of Mutant City Lux had started to declare bohemian and most other people just considered weird.

She and Alessandro Maran- Sandro to his friends -were perched at a high table watching as Lux spun across the small stage. Thrasher beamed across the dance floor where mutants and humans danced in every available combination and no one even batted an eye. She loved the _feel_ of the place. "Marcel did good with this place, Sandro," she said, taking a drink and glancing at her friend, who also happened to be Lux's bandmate and Marcel's boyfriend. She'd really lucked out with friends in college, she thought.

Sandro grinned. "He did, didn't he? You want to party with the freakish amongst the freaks, go to Purgatory."

"Or if you just want a drink with your friends in peace."

Sandro's lips tightened into a thin line. "Fucking Mutant League purists. They can kiss my ass."

"At least the outright physical stuff has stopped. It took a few broken arms to encourage that but it worked pretty well to discourage guys from other teams."

"I'm assuming your own team already knows better. Even those two jackoffs who were dead set against you?" He was referring to Razor Kidd and Darkstar.

"No, Bones is pretty good about treating me like a team member and there's not much they can do about it." Thrasher smirked. "They did get huffy when Lux started calling them Asshole One and Asshole Two to their faces."

"Which one is which?"

"It switches back and forth."

Sandro snickered. "Well, not only are you safe here 'cause you know the owner, you have half the males of Canal Square wanting to be your champion. If some asshole tried to roofie you or some shit, there would be a fight to see who got the privilege of breaking their arms. Anyone coming here to try and get at you- media, Prigg's thugs, bigots, any of them -we'll get them first, babycakes, you have my solemn vow."

Thrasher snorted and shook her head but in truth it pleased her to hear it. When your professional life was a neverending battle, she thought with a slight smile, having so many people in your personal life making it a point to have your back meant everything. But it was best only a few people could see that.

Sandro must have picked up on it because he smiled and changed the subject. "While I love the regular customers like yourself dearly, I think the ones who pop in thinking they're slumming are even more fun."

"Most of them." Thrasher gestured with her bottle of Oozeweiser toward a particularly rowdy group of frat boy looking norms over in a booth next to them.

"Marcel is going to have them thrown out on their asses," Sandro stated, taking a long drink of beer.

"You sound sure."

"Trust me, Thrash, I've seen enough to know the signs."

Lux had just finished her set and bowed to the thunderous applause from throughout the club. She started to sweep off the stage when one of the norms at the next table stood up and waved his half empty mug in her direction. "Hey, wait, I want to see your tits!"

"And here we go," Sandro murmured.

There was a spatter of laughter and the rest of his friends started chanting it. Lux didn't even bother to glance back, simply shooting her middle finger up over her shoulder and flicking her tail.

The guy who had first stood up lurched toward the stage. "C'mon, mutant whore, let's see if those scales go all the way down!"

Lux just disappeared backstage. Unlike Thrasher, Lux was big on social media, so she got called a whore or a slut so often she didn't even react to it anymore but it still pissed Thrasher off. She couldn't help it. She started to rise and Sandro laid a hand over hers and nodded behind her. She turned to see Ecker, a troll who acted as a bouncer, heading for the guy, who was pounding on the stage and moving as if to go after Lux. His friends had stood up and were yelling the 'show us your tits' chant so loudly now it was drowning out the music and several of the patrons were starting to move toward them.

Thrasher was still half standing when she saw one of the chanting assholes pause in the chant and turned his head to regard her. She knew that look all too well. She shifted her balance on the rungs of her stool and shifted it ever so slightly. Sandro shot her a questioning look but before he could say anything, the guy made his move, lunging toward Thrasher, flailing at her drunkenly. "Show me _your_ tits..."

With every ounce of the speed, agility and grace Thrasher Malone was quickly becoming famous for, she braced a hand on the table and dragged herself upward so she was balancing on the top of the stool, moving it with her feet so the guy went hurtling past her and fell flat on his face. Laugher and cheers erupted over the dance floor and Sandro was laughing so hard he had to hold onto the table to keep from falling over. Thrasher calmly spun the stool back into place and sat down on it, planting her feet on the guy's back. One of the bouncers, this one human, was laughing as he came over to haul him to his feet as Ecker started to escort the group out of the club, including the guy who'd been harassing Lux who was now slung over Ecker's shoulder.

At that point, Lux appeared from around the stage and came gliding past the tables toward them like nothing was happening. She passed near one of the drunks and he, probably assuming he had nothing to lose, tried to shove his hand up what little there was of her skirt.

Lux backhanded him across the face without missing a step, sending him flying back into Ecker, who shifted one of the two guys he was dragging and added him to the pile, also without missing a beat.

The human bouncer let out a sigh and shook his head as he started to drag the rest of the crew out. "Hey, Sandro, if I get a gay friend will I get to hang out with hot badass mutant chicks too?"

Thrasher raised a brow, Lux shot him a killer smile and Sandro, who'd managed to stop laughing, erupted again. "It couldn't hurt, my man."


	5. Cute Feet

"Pel!" Lux came bounding up to him so fast she had to screech to a halt before she crashed into him. "Can I see your feet?"

He blinked at her. "Uh...why?"

"I saw this science page that showed up close pictures of tarantula feet and they look like little fluffy paws! I want to see if yours do!"

Pel looked at his lower body and lifted a leg automatically. Lux grabbed his foot and peered at it while Pel and Thrasher watched with bemusement and Marista watched with her brow furrowed, as if trying to decide if she should be offended on Pel's behalf or not.

Lux started giggling. "They do!"

Pel blinked again and looked at his foot. "Um..."

Lux grinned up at him. "They're cute!"

Pel's mandibles drew together. "I...they are? Wait, no they're not!"

Curious, Thrasher took a look. She chuckled. "Actually, they kind of are, Pel."

"I have no cute parts!" Pel protested.

"I don't know, Pel, you're awful cute right now. All flustered," Marista said, her eyes gleaming playfully.

"I'm not!" Pel ducked his head slightly but didn't protest when she took gentle hold of his foot and studied it. He fidgeted, all four eyes fixed on her anxiously. "So...what do you think, Cat?"

"They do kind of look like little cat paws." She stroked his foot lightly and smiled. "It's fucking adorable."

Pel snorted but he looked amused. "Figures. I have a cute part and no one can see it."


	6. Media Darlings

**AN: I just didn't have it in me to come up with clever mutant related names for social media sites so I just went with their real names.**

 **One of the funniest damn things about the Mutant League cartoon is the 'futuristic' technology. Sherry Steele the reporter, for instance, has a hovering camera but she also has a phone with a cord on her desk. Anyway, here's what I figure: mutants were some of the driving forces behind the social media/digital/internet boom because a handful of them decided instead of fighting against a mostly norm world of media they'd just go around it. Total Chaos's first album was entirely digital and published under their own label, for instance.**

* * *

One of the things that Thrasher loved most about going out with Lux was that now that Total Chaos was starting to rise, she was never sure if they were going to be approached by Lux's fans, her own fans, or fans of them both. It made things very interesting.

It also gave her more opportunities to laugh at Lux than she'd ever thought possible.

As was her right. They were best friends, it was their sworn duty to make fun of one another and rip apart anyone else that tried.

Like the time Sherry Steele had asked Lux if she'd helped Thrasher practice when they'd been in college and Thrasher had snorted at the very idea before she could help herself. Lux had shot her a scowl. "Cruel but appropriate. No, Sherry, I didn't. Because when it comes to any form of sport, I suck."

"She really does," Thrasher had agreed cheerfully, earning her another scowl.

Or the time Thrasher ended up struggling to convince a fan that, no, she didn't have any social media accounts.

"I don't get it," the young girl had said, goggling at her. "You don't have _anything_?"

"Nope. If I want to get called a cheater or a liar or asked where I tuck my penis in, I just come here," Thrasher replied dryly, motioning to the Doom Dome behind them.

"Well, Thrash, you're already being cruel by refusing to be a stupid, ugly dyke," Lux had been happy to point out. "They have to have _some_ way to stereotype you or they might have to start...you know...thinking."

The girl giggled. "Do you have any social media accounts, Lux?"

Thrasher had started hooting with laughter and the girl had looked at her in confusion. Lux narrowed her eyes at her. "Yes, I do."

"She has an account with _everything_ ," Thrasher had informed the girl.

"Not _everything_."

" _Everything."_

"She's exaggerating, don't listen to her."

"She has accounts with shit she signed up for only once and never went back to again."

"Now you're just filling this poor girl's head with lies, bitch."

"You have a fucking Etsy account, L."

"Okay, the troglodyte here might actually have somewhat of a point," Lux had huffed.

"I'll tell you what, kid, I'll sign up for something if you can actually find me a bigger social media whore than Lux Gallow!"

It wasn't like Thrasher didn't suffer, as well. She'd informed her best friend in the entire world she was going to snap her in half if she didn't quit nagging her about playing games with the media. Just after her last game Lux had been waiting for her in Red's Bar, one of the bars attached to the stadium. Prigg had no connection to it so the prices were actually pretty reasonable. Lux had been watching some kind of gossip channel she must have sweet talked Red to turning to while she waited. Two norm celebrities Thrasher only vaguely recognized had been caught on tape slapping and batting at each other. FORMER FRIENDS AT WAR AGAIN, the title card across the screen blared.

"We could do this kind of shit if you were any fun," Lux informed her when she sat down.

"No, L," Thrasher said for what had to be the thousandth time.

"Come on, Thrash! We could start giving each other angry looks to get the rumors started and then start making backhanded catty remarks. And then all of a sudden we're all friends again. Talk about publicity! The fans eat that up!"

"They do," Red, the short squat troll who owned the bar, came up and offered a mug of beer. "On the house, Thrasher. You won me forty bucks on the field today, so there's my thanks."

"I mean, I could be the drama queen, you don't even have to do most of the work," Lux persisted.

"Lux, there is no way in hell I'm giving you an excuse to be more of a drama queen."

Lux pouted. "No fun."

"I get publicity every time I do good in a game and even more when I do badly, L."

"But that's not _fun_."

"Get Sandro to do it."


End file.
